Thursday, June 27, 2013

Namaste Y'all

Hating Yoga was something I felt very passionately about for a long long time. I had tried to take classes in the past and I don't know if it was my past as a dancer or sub-par instructors, but I always found them to be incredibly boring. Not only that but I don't like being upside-down for long periods of time. I always got dizzy and then had to sit down. SIT DOWN IN A YOGA CLASS! I am not even out of shape, I just hate downward facing dog!

My inner hippie seemed to judge my hatred harshly. It seemed like the world is crawling with fit little yogis talking of nothing but how yoga had changed their lives. I swear, if I had a dollar for every time I have heard the sentence "Yoga changed my life." I could buy an island and sit on the beach know...not do yoga. People are so emphatic about their life changing discovery of yoga that to say you hate it, is to say your hate puppies and trees and recycling. And again my inner hippie was sporting her disapproving expression and about to get preachy just as all the yogis I had pissed off by my proclamation.

I went so far as to create a necklace that states simply "I hate yoga" as a means to ward off those "yoga changed my life" conversations. To the dismay of yoga enthusiasts everywhere I have sold quite a few. It seems there is not middle ground on this subject. You hate it, or you love it and it was clear to me what side I was on and I was not alone.

I then turned 30 and began to realize things like, I can not actually remember when my neck did not hurt, you can only sleep funny for so many nights in a row, and the most troublesome, I can no longer turn my head in all directions with out a shooting pain radiating throughout my body. This was the moment I knew, I need to start yoga to save my poor body from itself. It was the week I had this self proclamation that I woke up and discovered I had thrown my neck out. I didn't honestly know one could do that. A back yes, but a neck....well this was a new one for me. After being unable to move for about a week, I bought a yoga mat, and begin doing yoga once, sometimes twice a day and fuck if I didn't feel better. My neck began to loosen up, I rediscovered flexibility and I just felt good. All those preachy crazy people were right all along. Damnit.

So I have been playing with different kinds of Yoga. I found I enjoy Rodney Yee DVDs and even thought for one second about doing hot yoga, but realized quickly I would sooner put needles in my eye than voluntarily put myself in a crazy hot room for an hour and a half. Cleansing or no. Not gonna do it. I bought a package of Air Yoga classes at Canton Club in lovely downtown Baltimore and just recently began taking them.

 Air Yoga, if you are not familiar, is done with the use of swing like silks that hang from the ceiling. You do your normal yoga poses but you are either holding onto them or suspended from them. Either way getting a deeper stretch. AMAZING! This is one class I did not mind in the slightest being upside-down for! 

The very best part of yoga for me is the relaxation at the end. I am not a good sleeper so I value these moment of feeling truly relaxed. I would pay for the air yoga relaxation alone. The silks are wide enough for the entire length of your body. So you pull it over your head, stick your feet in the other edge and stretch out. You are then encased in fabric suspended from the ceiling. You feel like you are in a cocoon. Once we got used to our space in the silk, our instructor Brandie, turned off the lights, guided us though a relaxation and walked around the room giving everyone a gentle push. So you lay there, swinging though the air, wrapped in fabric. It was heaven.

I am going back tonight and I just can not wait. I refuse to go so far as to say that yoga has changed my life. I am not preaching yoga to anyone. I'm just saying that I have flip flopped on an issue I once felt very strongly about. I'd make a terrible (or typical) politician. But if I can turn my head one day with out pain shooting down through my toes then the flip flop was totally worth it. I will gladly eat my words with some granola and yogi tea or what ever the hell die hards consume.

Monday, June 3, 2013


As I have mentioned before, I am technologically delayed. I enjoy writing letters, and balancing my checkbook and most of all keeping an actual calendar. Well a few months ago I lost my calendar and with it my will to live. I barely could bring myself to work, to clean, to cook or to even leave the house. My entire life seemingly revolves around a handful of bound pages. I bought a new one in April and was all ready to regain some control when I opened it and realized it didn't begin until July. I finally found one that started at the beginning of the year in a clearance bin somewhere and by the time I finished transferring my life over, I found my old one in a pile of sheets. Because, why wouldn't a calendar end up in between a pile of folded sheets?!?!?

So I am now back on track, my spring cleaning was thorough and arduous, I have begun making small trips to the grocery store, I am relearning how to cook, my hair is freshly dyed and I have now re-entered the studio with energy and I am ready to start again.

I will be posting evidence of my rejoining the human race shortly. Perhaps one of these days I will put my calendar on my phone like everyone else.