Boss Me Around Please

Since I was a little kid, I knew I wanted to be my own boss, run my own business, do my own thing. I had all sorts of business ideas when I was a little girl and I was quite enterprising. I sold paintings to my moms friends when I was 5, beguiling them with my talking to them about "the importance of balance in abstract art". Yes that is a quote. Once when I was about 8, I decided that I wanted a garden in my back yard. Now at 8 obviously cash flow is a bit of an issue, so I went through my things in the basement, put a table in the front yard and turned my old toys and books into cash. I promptly went through the Frank's nursery ads and circled everything I needed to buy keeping in mind my budget. Turns out I was not born with a green thumb but the point is I had a goal and was determined to achieve it. I got myself into magnet schools for both middle school and high school studying art and dance. I went away to college throwing myself into the art department and an amazing study abroad opportunity (where my goal was actually to find Colin Firth and make him fall madly in love with me...in this, I failed). Fresh from graduating I took over Moon River Art gallery, even being featured in the Evansville Business Journal for my accomplishment. I then decided I wanted to make myself a working artist and have been doing that ever since.

I have lived my life setting and achieving goals for myself. In any management situation, my take charge attitude has worked well for me. But in working for yourself, by yourself, I have found self-discipline to be the most important thing to posses. Generally I am very self disciplined but lately I am faltering.

My time has been spent with my nose in books where it should be spent at my work bench. The last two nights I was up until 3:30 am reading. READING! I have set my alarm to go off at 8 but lets be honest, that wasn't going to happen.

For the first time in my life I feel like I NEED someone to boss me around. I can not even believe I just typed the words, but there they are in black and white. How do I rectify this situation? Where to I rediscover my self-discipline? It is an odd thing for a somewhat bossy  take charge individual like myself to suddenly desire someone else to hold the reins. Even if it is only long enough to ruffle my feathers and put me back where I am comfortable.

I Am Having A Lonely Moment

They do not happen that often, but I am in the midst of a lonely moment. I suppose it is natural to feel this way when one's partner is gone for an extended period of time but at least most people have co-workers and or children to socialize with. When you are childless, save for one ridiculously entertaining dog, and you work from home, there is no one there to stop you from a bout of melancholy. My house was so full of people this past weekend and now with everyone gone, it just feels so quiet and empty which most of the time I enjoy. Not today.

Last week my friend and I stumbled upon a bar in Pasadena called Brian Boru and it happened to be Lady's Night with music and $5 drinks. We joked that we would make it a Thursday tradition. Perhaps, this will in fact happen. I could use something super fun to break up the week.

Well I will get back to making bridal jewelry and hope that creating pretty things will yank me out of sulkiness. I am being a baby. Someone call me and yell at me!